BiSC, The Third Year. Part Two.

After getting in SUPER late and being even more SUPER sore, I woke up in time to be within the first five people by the pool. I’m serious about my pool time, y’all. Because we were there so early, Nicole let us preview the sex toys from Babeland that she stowed in her pool bag. I’m just saying, there was a PIRATE THEMED SEX TOY.

I ended up receiving this glorious pirate pendant vibrator, but later in the day I gave it to Mikael. Girl proved that she needed it, and that’s all I’m saying about that. The thing about the pirate vibrator? It was “splash-proof,” but not fully water-proof. Does anyone else find something wrong with that? This is PIRATE THEMED, amiright? Pirates are known to be out to sea for long periods of time. The sea is actually water. I’m just saying.

Back in the BiSC world, I was schmammered by the pool. We got a free drink, and then I bought a 20 oz vodka lemonade with a souvenir cup, and refilled that cup all within the hours of 9am and 4 pm with little food and the sun baking my alcohol infused brain/body. There was a booty shaking contest in which Caryn and I bribed every single male in the pool to vote for Mikael. We obviously did a stand up job because she won! But, as a consequence, I lost my voice for a small amount of time.

[Mikael and the boy version of the booty contest winner]

I tried to bribe the waitress for a breakfast burrito after Adam so graciously gave me a bite of his, only to find out it was 11 minutes past the breakfast cutoff. I was heartbroken, but I still got a wrap because I was too lazy to actually leave the pool. Plus, I might not have found my way back.

We played rounds and rounds of “I Never” for sex toys, where I won one that I actually kept. I’ve used it many times since then and it’s a keeper. I think I held my own with Nicole, so I’m pretty proud of myself.

The midget in pink (who also happened to be the midget in a creepy gray suit/top hat ensemble at Chateau) came around with a super soaker filled with some sort of alcohol (ask Swapp or Jayme) and shot it into the mouths of random people. I also FINALLY got to meet the mastermind behind Lucky Bloke, Melissa (who I’ve been involved with on a condom sponsorship basis, more on that later!).

Toward the end of the pool day, Jayme and I were among the last of our crowd still out when a group of guys came over asking for some beds. We only had them reserved for 20 more minutes or so, so we let them have them. They ended up talking to us for about an hour and I got to pass out a blogger business card (Mini MOO!). I was pretty stoked about that.

We eventually headed up to our rooms and Katherine and I had our own party to get ready to go to dinner and see Zumanity. I think we (read: I) referenced Jenna Marbles’ video on putting on makeup while drunk? Or maybe I was just having that conversation in my head. Either way. That happened.

I was late getting out of the room (in part because of my epic drunkenness) and so I didn’t get to experience the BiSC escalator train (sadface) and I got lost inside Paris, trying to find the buffet. That place is seriously a MAZE. Eventually I found it and I had pretty good sex conversations over dinner with Melissa.

We made our way to Zumanity, and had hilarious conversations with Tiffany & Nick about the NY, NY roller coaster (which the rode three times and bought all three pictures!) When we got inside, it was madness. You felt like you were in an old, low-key jazz lounge. But that’s not at all how it actually was. One of the characters came over and stole Caryn’s camera, pointed it down his pants, and snapped a picture. And Rachel (who was sitting behind me) almost got kicked out for trying to take stealth shots when photos weren’t allowed! The show was basically just watching all of the kinkiest people in the world have uninhibited sex. Perfect for me and probably most everyone else at BiSC!

After the show ended, a bunch of the group went to Diablo’s. I spent time there in my first year dancing the ENTIRE night away. But since I’d worn myself out completely at Margaritaville the night before, I just couldn’t do it three nights in a row. And there was always Chateau to look forward to on Saturday night. So I opted for sleep, and I’m pretty sure it was the best choice.

Only one more cliffhanger, I promise! Stay tuned for my final post on BiSC 2012.
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